


hard drive

by doyoungtheonlyman



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is a Little Shit, M/M, Stressed Lee Taeyong, but kim doyoung cold as hell tho lmao, doyoung is right but taeyong fakes it till he makes it, it all starts in an apple store, taeyong hits on doyoung for a Purpose™
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28175508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doyoungtheonlyman/pseuds/doyoungtheonlyman
Summary: Taeyong does the next best thing a broke college student with a broken laptop could do:1. If anyone asks, it was a factory defect.2. If customer service representative Kim Doyoung doesn't believe you, make a scene— then call his manager.3. Make sure your Macbook gets covered by the warranty. Byanymeans. (Including flirting the hell out horridly stiff Apple Repair part-timer/schoolmate Kim Doyoung.)
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 26
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

tech help forum

_**@ty_neo** : help! knocked my macbook off the couch and it turned on for a couple of minutes b4 it crashed. screen went black and won't turn on. ^_^ whats wrong with it? i'm too broke to buy another. does apple cover this? :(((_

_**@psung:** put it in rice for 3 days. works for everything_

_**@seojoh** : sucks, dude. if you're lucky, it's the lcd. but you sound unlucky so it's most probably the hard drive. i'm a lit major so i know if its bad it could get worse........ good luck though_

_**@kim_dy:** Verified User_

_Hi there, @ty_neo!. On behalf of us here at Apple, we're very sorry to hear that._

_It looks like the hard drive took a bad hit from the impact of the crash. But unfortunately, mishandling is not covered in the warranty, so the fees to replace it would come from your own pocket. We recommend you to visit your nearest Apple Repair to get it fixed as soon as possible. We'll be happy to take a look at it._

_Best,_  
_Kim Doyoung_  
_Customer Service_


	2. Chapter 2

Shit. _Shit._ Taeyong had wanted to not exist and sell everything he had to his name. Simultaneously.

He could live without his midterm essay. He could deal with losing the Powerpoint he and his partner spent way too much time picking out animations on. Johnny Seo can suck his dick for all he cares (even unprovoked)!

It was Seo's fault that he'd trusted Taeyong enough to not save it when he had his own fucking Macbook. ( _What_ a dick.)

 _(Fuck,_ Taeyong sniffed when he remembered... he _used_ to have a Macbook too.)

Taeyong silently put his phone down, the forum glowing brightly on his screen, taunting him _and_ his bank account. Why did verified user say that it wasn't covered in the warranty? Taeyong knows that it was kinda his fault, but it wasn't like he wanted to break it _intentionally_. There was a _difference_.

He means, shouldn't there be an exception? Wasn't Apple rich enough to include this in the warranty?

And did an _Apple_ bot really _have_ to have an official response on _Quora_? If he _wanted_ a reminder of the consequences of his failures, he should've pulled out his report card instead and stared at it _really_ hard.

So, the way Taeyong sees it, there were only 2 possible solutions he could do:

1\. ~~Get parents to pay for it~~. 

And get scolded for an honest mistake? Hell _no_. He'd rather tell them that their precious child is within an inch of failing college. At least _that_ hadn't been an accident.

2\. Borrow money from rich roommate.

Plausible. Until Taeyong was suddenly reminded that the rich roomate in question steals his cup noodles. What a dick.

He sat up from his bed where he was curled in a fetal position. Feeling endlessly desperate, he quickly Googled if Apple did random acts of kindness. Like repairing the hard drives of their 100,000th customer for free.

(They did not.)

But... A beat of silence. A moment of striking clarity. His mind told him: **But you know _who_ does?**

He _does_. What the hell? Taeyong almost slapped himself for forgetting. Honestly, sometimes, Taeyong could be _such_ a genius.

He was suddenly reminded exactly _why_ he was an honorary mention back in middle school. (Best in Creative Thinking! His teacher said that it was a new award for that year only, specifically for him. The makeshift medal was still hung in his parents' bedroom.)

Taeyong smiled smugly. He _did_ think creatively. Mr. Leechaiyapornkul had recognized his talents when he proudly presented his self-portrait to the class. (He had written 'hot as hell' in rainbow glitter cursive letters on top of a stick man because he didn't have a mirror then. Eh, he figured it was close enough).

* * *

**Dear Mrs. Ellen Degeneres,**

**First off, I'm a huge fan of yours. I watched your show a lot when I was younger. It was really funny. And it was really nice of you to give out free money to people. I hope you still do that.**

**I'm Lee Taeyong, 20 years old. I'm a college student, and I'm here for** **_your_ ** **help. I know that I have no right to break my laptop when I have absolutely no money, but guess** **_what_ ** **Ellen... it happened. (╥_╥)**

 **I didn't do something inherently good or inspiring for you notice me. But I hope you'll just help out of the goodness of your heart. It's not _even_ that much or whatever. I just need whatever a hard drive repair costs. I can even pay you back when I'm older, and we can ** **totally make this into a show** **after.**

 **I hope you'll find it in your heart to help me, a** **_nobody_ ** **. Wishing you a good life. I hope you and Portia never divorce. And I'm not just saying that for the money.**

**Sincerely,**

**Lee Taeyong**

And _sent_.

The shadow looming over Taeyong's hunched form silently watched him send the letter to _ellentube.com_. It also smacked him upside the head.

"Hyung, The Ellen Show was cancelled _months_ ago," Haechan mumbled, walking away from Taeyong like it would disassociate himself from him.

Taeyong turned around in disbelief, jaw slacking. " _Really_?" he sputtered, stomping his feet before quickly following his roommate into the kitchen.

As soon as Taeyong was looking, Haechan made a show of getting a packet from one of the plastic cupboards.

"Is that my ramen?"

Haechan pulled another one out, just to spite him. Taeyong loved his roommate to death (usually), but the death of his laptop left him less than impressed by his antics. 

Taeyong pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "I can't believe you're stealing my only _food_ source, when I'm thinking about selling my kidney to pay for a hard drive. A _hard_ drive, Duckie."

(His cousin Sungchan had only one kidney, the poor boy. He can't even drink _cola_ without almost dying (probably). Taeyong wondered how much auntie would pay him if he 'donated' his liver to her greatest joy in life.)

Haechan merely shrugged, opening the ramen packets and dropping them into the boiling water. He turned to look at Taeyong, contemplating. "I don't recommend selling a vital organ. It's a capitalist world, hyung. Take advantage of it. With a face like yours, an onlyfans account could buy you at _least_ three."

Groaning, Taeyong threw himself on the ratty couch. What did he expect? He didn't _have_ a choice but to take the damn laptop to the Apple Repair near the university tomorrow. It's not like he could study without it. The worst they could do was make him pay upfront. (Which was _actually_ very concerning and would be the death of his plans— but he could always argue. What was he even studying Law for?) 

Haechan snorted suddenly, a mix of a blowhorn and a sneeze. "And by the way, it's _DeGeneres_." he said, stirring his (roommate's) noodles. He turned off the stove a beat later, wagging his unwashed chopsticks in Taeyong's face. "Not _Degeneres_. There's a _difference_. I can't believe you know Ellen's wife when you can't even _spell_."

Taeyong closed his eyes, exasperated. Spelling was the least of his concerns when he was a less than average college student, stupid enough to drop his Macbook, and _poor_.

If Haechan was right— the only thing he's got going for him is his face. That _could_ pay the bills, except he can't exactly _charge_ people for staring at him. (Taeyong should, though. They should at _least_ compensate hitting on him on a daily basis. It wasn't _his_ fault he was pretty.)

Taeyong ran his hands through his bubblegum pink hair. "What am I gonna do, Duckie?" he buried his face in his hands. He moved his fingers, taking a peek at his _almost_ sympathetic roommate. "Can you let me borrow 300 dollars?"

"Nope." Not nearly sympathetic enough.

Taeyong whined, taking in the scene of Haechan gracelessly stuffing his face with instant noodles, one of his Balenciaga sneakers resting on the chair next to him.

"Please, Duckie! You're brimming with money! If you weren't my roommate I'd be pissed at you for being capitalist as he—,"

Haechan spit out his food (it was rude of him to spit out the ramen when it wasn't even _his_ in the first place). He started choking, but Taeyong wasn't worried. Haechan would probably stop soon enough to not die.

"Where did you even _get_ that?" Haechan asked incredulously, still in a coughing fit. He pounded his own chest repeatedly before stumbling his way out of the kitchen in search for his hydroflask.

A frown. "Well... you _look_ bougie." Taeyong called out , gesturing to his clothes and the purple hydroflask which Haechan was currently gulping out of. Taeyong also wanted to point out that he had an _egg_ in his ramen, but at the same time that was also _his_ ramen. "I don't know. I just assumed your parents were rich. _That_ , or you're a drug lord after school." With his roommate, there was no in between.

Haechan looks as unimpressed as he can be with water running on his chin and neck. "I eat your _food_ , hyung. I think that's obvious enough. I'm glad you think I have expensive taste, but the crime lord was _very_ offensive. Why can't I be a self-made millionare at 19?"

"Well, _are_ you?"

"No."

Taeyong let the info sink in on him. "So you're _not_ rich?"

Haechan's face contorted into a wince. "Ding ding. I'm just thrifty. Law is expensive, you know. _And_ I have a part time job, unlike you."

"So you _can't_ help me?"

"I can sell my hydroflask for you, hyung. I got it on Black Friday sale, but I'm cute enough for a sucker to buy it at full price."

He really was. In moments like these, Taeyong really appreciated Haechan. Though Taeyong was pretty sure Haechan would only sell his precious hydroflask over his dead body, it was the thought that counts.

"How much is a hard drive repair anyway?" Haechan inquired, raising his eyebrows.

Taeyong wasn't actually sure. He whipped out his phone to Google it. He took one look at the search results, closed it, put it down (gently, because he was traumatized), screen first.

Taeyong took a deep breath, turning paler as the seconds ticked by. "Duckie, did you _know_ a hard drive repair costs 100 to 300 dollars?"

Taeyong's palms sweated, his lips curving in a slightly manic panicked smile. "Plus _... labor_ fees?" 

Haechan's words of comfort died on his throat. If _his_ wallet had 30 bucks, _max—_ then Taeyong _really_ needed an onlyfans. Haechan thought that maybe if he begged as club president of the Dreamies (Mark the Jock enthusiast fanclub)— they'd help him raise funds for ads to promote his hyung on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr.

And he could totally, _totally_ buy a brand new ring light for Taeyong's new gig, Haechan had solemnly nodded after Taeyong retreated to his room to ugly cry. It was the least he could do for all the ramen he stole from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this may or may not be inspired about the time i dropped my laptop and went crazy worrying about the hard drive for _months_.
> 
> and i may or may not have sent a letter to ellentube with a similar format to taeyong's when my laptop's lcd was broken last year
> 
> hope you like it! next chapter will be updated soon (hint: customer service kim doyoung)!!
> 
> kudos n comments r very appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Taeyong hugged his Macbook close to his chest (swathed in four layers of bubble wrap, because heaven knows what the Apple people do to it).

(It couldn't be worse than what he did all on his own, but he was traumatized and _coping)._

He took a deep breath before stepping into the harsh artificial lights of the Apple Store— glaring venomously at the sight of the array of Macbooks displayed in the corner.

Hell, they don’t even _sell_ those models. They were for display only ( _and_ for furthering electronic trash consumption, those global warming _dicks)_!

 _And_ as a soon-to-be lawyer (if he didn’t fail first), he had to do something about this injustice. Maybe if Taeyong asked nicely, Apple could give one of the Mac displays to him for free, and publish it to the news to boost their brand reputation.

After all, heaven _knows_ they need it. _Nobody’s_ forgetting how they sabotage their older models to make customers buy the newest iPhone. The iPhone 12 Pro Max. Or something. 

(Taeyong looked down on his iPhone 11 in suspicion. He had won it on a raffle— and he was _not_ about to let Steve Jobs take it away from him.)

**_"Apple Incorporated Tech Giant Gives Free Laptop to A Local Pretty (Broke) Boy, Saves His Life"_ **

Front-page worthy. It has a nice ring to it.

And if the paps could get a picture of Taeyong’s face, smiling at his brand new Macbook, he was pretty sure (not to suck his own dick, but pretty much yes)— it would go viral. 

But Taeyong was not completely Dumb™. He knew that would do much more for _Apple-the-Weak-Bitch-Who-Dies-In-An-Anticlimactic-Drop_ — than for Taeyong himself. 

He dropped it, like he dropped his laptop 4 feet in the air. There was no rush, after all. Hollywood could wait a few more years for him. Horny Tiktok fan edits of him could be postponed!

College, however, would not.

Taeyong swiveled his head around, searching for someone that could help him out. The store was fairly empty since it was school hours (and also because it was expensive as hell. Absolutely _nobody_ came in. And if Taeyong was being honest, it was _their_ bad for opening in the vicinity of voucher-wielding university students.

 _Bingo_. Taeyong saw someone wearing an ugly standard white polo, typing up a storm. 

And Taeyong was _pretty_ sure that the guy saw him too— but he can’t be _too_ sure, because as soon as they made eye contact, the guy from Apple did a half-assed side eye. 

_Okay_. Taeyong was pretty sure the guy didn’t notice him, because (1) the normal response people had upon seeing Taeyong was very flattering— and (2) this was _not_ very flattering.

The guy just _probably_ didn’t work here. After all, Apple people weren't the only ones who had ugly white polos. (Taeyong had one too, until he got _so_ pretty that his polo became automatically pretty too). (Like mitosis). (Or was it osmosis)?

Taeyong decided to lean back on one of the counters to wait until someone takes pity on him. 

It almost worked too, before he accidentally leaned too far back and knocked over the iPhone 12 display that almost crashed to the floor if not for those anti-theft wires. The devices were just.... awkwardly hanging off the table like a bad cliff scene.

And in retrospect, Taeyong could've unsuspiciously put it back to the phone holder, unsuspiciously walked over to the next table (or to the next universe stupid enough to hate on pineapples on pizza).

He _could_ have. And he really, _really_ should’ve.

A voice rang out, piercing through the 6 corners of the Apple Store (because it was asymmetrical, and Taeyong counted).

“Can I _help_ you?”

Taeyong froze like a deer in headlights that was holding a Macbook in its hooves.

He had wondered, for a split second before he dies in the hands of Apple, why he _always_ gets himself involved in the stupidest shit.

It was probably his fault. But then again, it could be the universe's fault. And it was _always,_ always best to blame something that's intangible. (It's called self- _love_ , thank you very much).

Taeyong prepares to make a run for it. He briefly wondered how many horizontal Jaehyuns it would take before he reached the automatic doors.

Shit. It was _seven_ Jaehyuns. And Jaehyun was a _basketball_ player.

The Apple guy behind the counter tried again, exasperated. "You need something fixed or what?" it asked, gesturing to the monster of bubble wrap Taeyong was holding protectively.

A polite head shake. Whild Taeyong _did_ need something fixed, he could always do it in an Apple Store where he didn't bust an iPhone open.

 _But it wasn't like he even saw it,_ Taeyong reasoned with himself. Taeyong lifted his head to peek if the Apple customer service was looking at him like he was a criminal. 

A sigh of relief. He wasn't. The guy had a phone pressed to his ear, Taeyong the customer long forgotten. _That_ , or he was calling the police.

Taeyong decided to take the risk (because he didn't want to go to yet _another_ Apple Store) and crossed the floor with small, confident strides. (But not before grappling the iPhone hanging halfway through the floor and putting it back inconspicuously). 

He set down the Macbook on the counter with a decided thump. The Apple guy, who was still talking, eyed him in surprise. 

"Actually, I changed my mind. My Macbook needs fixing," Taeyong announced, pushing the bubble-wrapped laptop into the guy's arms.

The Apple guy, clearly bewildered, put his free hand over the receiver. "Yeah, Dad, I'm gonna have to call you back. Duty calls, thank you very much _,"_ he whispered sarcastically into the service telephone, slamming it with a resounding thunk.

The end tone ensues in awkward silence before the black-haired guy breaks it. "So, what seems to be the problem?" the asked, putting on his best customer service smile. 

Well, if that was _his_ best, Taeyong thinks the Apple guy needs more practice in front of the mirror. The guy looked dehydrated and was likely experiencing diarrhea on the job. Not to mention, having a _personal_ call on a company phone? Taeyong was no Karen, but he _was_ a paying customer… _if_ the plan fails anyway.

"Yeah," Taeyong sniffed a bit. For effect. "I don't know what's _wrong_ with it. It was running fine one day, then the next it won't open! It's been with me for only a year and a half, you know?" he made it a point to mention, because you know, the warranty still had 6 months to go. 

The Apple guy clasped his hands together, looking very sympathetic. (If Taeyong had 2 more brain cells, he could've figured out that the expression was actually very insincere, but _alas_.)

"On behalf of Apple, we're very sorry to hear that".

Now wasn't _that_ familiar? "You don't need to be sorry. It's isn't your fault. Maybe Apple's, but not yours," he assured, giving the Apple guy a half-smile.

(And maybe because his half-smiles charmed the heck out of anyone, sober or not, to buy him a drink. Maybe _this_ time, it could get him a 20% employee discount).

The Apple guy just stared at him in disbelief. And this time he hadn't bothered to hide it behind his Apple-issued customer smile. " _Right_. Was there any particular… _event,_ that might have caused this?"

If the color drained out of Taeyong's face— no it didn't. He Googled for hours in his panic-induced insomnia, searching for the same thing over and over again to calm his frazzled nerves, every time he remembered.

_'How 2 get repair covered by warranty apple macbook'_

Taeyong took a deep breath, putting his resting bitch face into good use.

"I don't _know_. Maybe it was a factory defect, which, honestly, was _not_ what I expected from _Apple_ of all companies! And honestly? I'm _so_ disappointed."

Taeyong lifted a mean eyebrow, scrutinizing the small name tag on the Apple guy. "Don't you think they're cheating their customers, Mr. _Kim Doyoung?_ After all, _you_ work here."

He would have never thanked Professor Moon for teaching him his guilt-tripping tactics in court, if he only knew he spoke to soon. Taeyong didn't need two more brain cells to recognize the venomous intent seeping in Doyoung's tone.

"Thank you for telling us, _sir_. But I can assure you that Apple does not _cheat_ their customers. Usually, it's the other way around. But there's always lawsuits for that, _right_?"

If Taeyong didn't know his rights (or did he?), he'd be spilling his guts out this instant, and _then_ puking his guts out. He _really_ didn't want to channel Karen's power _ever_ in his lifetime— but this _Doyoung_ guy won't let up.

He needed to deal with an employee who didn't miss 'with pleasing personality' on the job requirement.

"I want to speak with your manager."

Doyoung smiled wickedly. " _Speaking_."

The guy who has been listening in on the better part of their conversation with his ears and hands pressed to the door, stumbled over his way to the pair as fast as his legs could take him— and almost falling, grappling at the sides of the counter to steady himself before he intervenes.

"Haha! He's _joking_ , Doie's a part-timer! Right, Doie?" The manager didn't even flinch when said part-timer elbowed him in the gut. "Anyway, I'm the manager, Lee Jeno. How can we help you?"

Now Taeyong was thoroughly confused, since Manager Lee looks _way_ younger than Doyoung— and also his buttons were working _really_ hard to keep his uniform closed.

And when did employees get to rough around their boss around like that in the present _world_? Taeyong had no idea. Maybe he should get out of the house and touch some grass.

"My laptop needs repairing. I think it was a factory defect. But the part-timer here is insinuating that _I_ did it!"

If Manager Lee was disbelieving (of Taeyong _or_ Doyoung), he did a better job of hiding it than the other guy, that's for sure. He had only nodded understandingly, rolling up the sleeves in his arms and carrying Taeyong's Macbook into the back door— mumbling something about how 'he shouldn't worry' and that 'it would get fixed in no time'.

Taeyong, despite popular opinion, was starting to feel guilty for causing such havoc, fiddling with his fingers now that Doyoung and him were alone. An apology was on the tip of his tounge. ( _Hey. Sorry for being such a dick. I could apologize to you with it?)_

 _No_.Taeyong couldn't find it in him to apologize. (After all, Doyoung had side eyed him first!) And if he'd made advances to that rude statue, he was pretty sure Doyoung was going to sue him for real.

He wondered if he should leave, now that his Maacbook has been taken care of. And then never come back.

Before he could apologize for real, Doyoung handed him a small slip of paper. Taeyong took it, a bit apprehesive. His number _, really?_ With _that_ attitude? 

Upon closer inspection, it was actually customer information to fill out. Fuck. 

Taeyong finished scribbling out his contact details grumpily, sliding it across the counter. Customer service Doyoung snatched it, holding it to eye level to scan.

"You know," Doyoung starts, "for _some_ reason, _Lee Taeyong—_ I really don't believe you."

Taeyong sat slack jawed, swiveling his head around the vicinity if anyone heard. Why is this guy in the _service_ industry? 

If there was one thing Taeyong wasn't good at, it was defending his honor, _especially_ when he knew he was in the wrong. He was gonna be shit lawyer, he knows. His grades stood testament to that. The minute someone raises their voice at him in court, his voice will start cracking like the iPhone 12 in their midst.

(Taeyong _knew_ he should have shared the post he saw earlier. It was 'KARMA IS REAL' in bold letters, posted by his high school friend Jungwoo who shared a Facebook video of Jennifer Lopez's success story. But in his defense, how did he know Jungwoo wasn't _actually_ bullshitting?)

Upon seeing Taeyong mute, Doyoung sighed to himself. "I don't know why I even _bother_. They'll figure out after the repair if it was really an accident or not."

(Fuck it all. Taeyong should've just passed the text message he received from Johnny Seo when he had the chance. ' _Pass this to 10 people. Ignore or Bad Luck for 5 years. This is true my friend got mono the next day'_ )

And now, it was too late. He knew he needed all the luck he could get when he decided to make a fool out of _Apple_. (Fucking _Johnny_. They weren't even close enough to send _chain_ mail with.)

Taeyong wanted to gain control of this situation, _fast_. He was going to get caught one way or another. And contrary to his debilitating nerves, he wasn't _actually_ worried. He had a back up plan. (He gets his money, and Sungchan can finally live like a normal boy).

Already in the stage of acceptance, Taeyong decided to be the bigger person, only smiling serenely. "And how much would this all cost me?"

Doyoung, confused from the lack of fight, hesitantly did the math in his head.

" _If_ it's covered by the warranty, then it's completely free."

Taeyong felt the air rush in his lungs for the first time in the 32 hours, post-crash.

"And if it _isn't_ , and the hard drive is the problem, then it's gonna be about $749.99. We accept cash or card. _Oh_ , and cheques, too _._ "

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for waiting! next chap comes up soon. where taeyong sees doyoung in school and tries to befriend him (keyword: tries) for reasons unknown (jk yall know). AND omg dude he's flirting???


	4. Chapter 4

"And then he said— 'pay up or we're pressing charges', and he thinks I don't know that he's _bluffing_? I'm a lawyer for goodness sake! Or... I'm _going_ to be. And if anything, _I'm_ gonna be the one to put his ass in jail for threatening a powerless civilian!"

Jaehyun only nodded his head in sympathy, twirling the spaghetti in front of him. Jaehyun also thought that there was something wrong in this picture, but maybe his spaghetti just needed more cheese. 

Haechan, meanwhile, was not taking any shit from Taeyong. He scoffed, sipping his Sprite before spitting out, "How would _you_ know that he wouldn't file a lawsuit? You miss lessons to go to the mall!"

"That was because I needed to get my laptop to Apple Repair! It's a valid reason!"

"You also _said_ it was a valid reason to skip Mr. Moon's lecture because you had a heated internet fight with a Doja stan because _you_ said, and I _quote_ ," he hissed, making air quotation marks, "needed time to _heal_."

In his defense, being ratioed by a bunch of 14 year-olds were traumatizing on it's own. Taeyong flopped back down on his seat, blankly gripping his kale juice. He did _not_ need Haechan's shit right now. Not when he had 749.99 bucks to pay for when his wallet only had 10.99 dollars _and_ a broken zipper. 

Maybe he should make a dash for it before they operate on his laptop. Grab it out of Apple Worker Doyoung's freakishly slim hands and throw out a middle finger on the way out without looking back, like a bad (definitely not _broke_ ) bitch.

But where would he even _get_ another one? His dad would definitely talk his ear off. He had no nice rich friends who would surprise him with a Benz on the school parking lot— let alone offer to cover the repair until Taeyong wins the lotto. He had no sugar daddies. Life was hard. 

He absently stared at the dispersing crowd. _Absently..._ until a tall figure clad in what _looked_ like expensive jeans made his way somewhere in front of him, talking with Yuta. 

Fuckin _' score_. Common friend!

He got out of that chair in a millisecond as soon as he recognized the pair, trudging up as fast as his legs could take him there.

Yuta, bless his athleticism and his faint heart, had fallen for Taeyong the moment he saw him scandalously slurp on his bubble tea straw, changing his stance from a giggling mean girl to a worthy prospect, like a mating peacock. Usually Taeyong would spare him a daily greeting along the lines of 'you're so hot wtf', but not today. Today, he was a man on a mission.

"Hi, _Doyoung,_ " he honest-to-goodness _purred_. He'd been working on that. "Fancy seeing _you_ here."

Doyoung, unimpressed, crossed his arms over his body as if to protect himself. "How delightful," he acknowledged flatly. "Your Macbook is _still_ in the tech room, _still_ destroyed beyond belief— so _why,_ pray tell, are you exactly striking up a conversation with _me_ , Lee Taeyong? I'm off hours.", he said, looking at his watch, before giving him a what Taeyong believes to be, a _stink_ eye. "And _frankly_? This is unprofessional."

Gosh. What a _dick_. They both take a dump in the same bad college toilets. They both use the same paper towel from Dollar Tree.

(Although _Doyoung_ , contrary to popular belief, actually has his _own_ organic wet wipes).

Stomping on foots of condescending part-timers were beneath Taeyong, so he opted for a dramatic gasp instead. In character. "My, _my._ Can't I just greet my favorite customer service worker when I happen to pass by?" _Lies._ He practically crawled on his ass to make this conversation possible.

(He _really_ shouldn't have).

" _And_ anyways, speak for yourself, Doyoung. I must have made a _hell_ of an impression if you even remembered my full name."

A small internal, evil smile. Taeyong knows what Doyoung was thinking. He made an impression, alright. Not necessarily a good one, but enough for him to get to Doyoung's Top 5 Hunt Down After I Resign. And honestly? Good for him. At least Taeyong could rule out Doyoung's constant resentment as poetic justice.

Doyoung shot him a look. "Oh, you still do make _quite_ of an impression, unfortunately. I dont't have much of a choice since we were _classmates_ for the past three years."

They were... _what the fuck?_

Taeyong can't say he'd been _nice_ enough to remember even Haechan's name for the first week or so ("Uh, Hae...hae... _lo_? Yeah, hello! Can I take a picture of your notes, _buddy_?"). But he would have absolutely no problem in memorizing Doyoung's face, or his slim physique, or how he likes his eggs in the morning... his stuck-up attitude... how he hates Taeyong's guts seven minutes into meeting— scratch that, three _years_! 

"Huh, is that right?" Taeyong chimed, trying so _bad_ to make it play out lightly. Fat chance, but he tries. "From Criminal Law class with Mr. Moon?"

Doyoung's face contorted into a mixture of disgust and thinly veiled mirth. At that moment, Taeyong knew something would go very, very wrong (or very, _very_ right).

" _No_ , actually." Doyoung commented, wryly inspecting his fingernails. "You know. Middle school with Mr. Leechaiyapornkul? You were the one one who got a hole-punched Lays chip tied to Jaehyun's shoestring for some last-minute award, so you can get up the stage with the class?"

Yuta mumbles a 'what the fuck' the same time Taeyong sniffs out a bitter 'no wonder my dog ate it.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited and short lol what is happening


	5. Chapter 5

**taeyong**

Pass this to 10 people. Ignore or Bad Luck for 5 years. This is true my friend got mono the next day

**haechan**

if i send this back to you

will you get mono

**taeyong**

i already got mono at a party once

isnt that a one time thing

like chicken pox

**jaehyun**

taeyong why are you sending chainmail?

**haechan**

why arent YOU

**taeyong**

suck it up losers

forward the chain mail to 10 ppl

ignore or bad luck its real

im not taking any more chances!!!

**haechan**

its not bad luck hyung

**taeyong**

then how do you explain my life

**haechan**

….your life choices???

**taeyong**

sounds fake

but ok

so anyway jae

….

……

…

…...

JAEHYUN

**jaehyun**

yea

**taeyong**

do you know a doyoung

from middle school

**jaehyun**

yeah he was that kid that drinks orange

juice from a thermos

no 

hypothermia? 

what was it again

anyway hes in our uni now

why

**haechan**

you mean… hydroflask?

gosh is that how you like characterize people

**jaehyun**

yeah yeah yeah like yours

but bigger

and he literally pours the minute maid right from the box TO the thermos

**taeyong** ****

how does this sound like something he would do

what a LOSER!!!

HES THE ONE

**jaehyun**

well

it's not the first time your The One was a loser

**haechan**

JAEHYUN HYUNG SKDUDNKSKFKDKJS WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**jaehyun**

but doyoung??

**taeyong**

NO DUMBASSES

HE WAS THE RUDE CUSTOMER SERVICE GUY

**jaehyun**

ohhh

yeah that sounds like him

hes cool

**taeyong**

HES MEAN

he humiliated us jaehyun dont side w him

**jaehyun**

like me... or haechan

**haechan**

RUDE

hey taeyong hyung

doyoung's mean to you......

youre scamming his company.....

IS IT ME OR IS IT SO CUTE

RIGHT JAEHYUN HYUNG?

**taeyong**

there is something wrong in your head baby 

GUARDS????

**haechan**

NO

ITS 'LAWYERS????'

GET IT

cause you want to sue each other LOL

  
  


_jaehyun kicked lee haechan out of the group._

**taeyong**

LOOOLSJSKJDBJDKDKDS

haechan made this rule for YOU JAEHYUN

**jaehyun**

say corny shit,

get very kicked ( • ̀ω•́ )

how the turn tables 

btw what do you mean he humiliated u?????

us????

tyonf??

*tyong  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the very short update, i havent gotten around to posting the next chapter :(( but a LOT will be happening with doyoung and taeyong's.... uh... reluctant acquaintanceship? (hopefully some damn improvement)... plus college friend facebook shitposter KIM JUNGWOO??? what r u doing there bud???? and sum other ahihi 🤪 stay tuned and as always thank you for reading


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